of computer tests and smoke

sesungguhnya realiti itu tidak indah

so today was the day i'd sit for the computer test.
as i got into the car i was glad to see 3 new faces that i've never met before.
unfortunately i spoke to soon.
we drove again to the dudes house.
yes.

the dude that i sketched the picture off
(read previous posts if not understood)

great. i thought i was never going to see him again. but yet there he was. again.
sitting for the same test. and then we'll go for the amali. aiihh.

so what was this supposed to mean?
should i try talking to him again? or maybe this time he would try talking to me.
but no. nothing happened again.

all i got were a few smiles. and the chance to stand extremely close to him during the amali outside. so i snapped one photo of him. coz this time i was sure that WE WOULD NEVER SEE EACHOTHER AGAIN.

but this time. i got his name. overlooked it in the book.
and now as i'm online.
i even found his facebook.
hahaha.

fine totally stalker me. again.
but don't worry. i don't really care.

and the smoke around the area was killing me that i puked when i got home. warghh.
i'll have better days.

and yes. i did pass the test if you were wondering.





































rambling yet again

time to effing grow up

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howdy hoho it's 2010.
i'm turning 18 in roughly 2 months.
so what does this mean.
it's time to GROW UP

time to be more BRAVE
i guess it's time for me to care less about the corrupted society that is being brought up day by day. if i continue living in this dark space always afraid of what they'll say i won't be going anywhere.
so i'm just going to have to live with it. and at the same time do something about it in my own twisted little way.
yes you people have had your way with me countless of times but i'm going to assure that 2010 will be different.

time to EXPAND MY HORIZON
get into things that i really want to do. for some reason i feel like Jim Carrey in Yes Man. 2010 will be the year where i say mostly yes than no's. i want to ride a bicycle. but my house doesn't have one. stupid i know, but then again let me be. maybe go for some paint ball like i used too. how i wish the public transport system was more efficient.

time to be more ME
YEAAAAAAAAHHHH. fine fine so the title says grow up. yet in today's society the term grown up means you do loads of stupid and crazy things because your allowed too. so let's grow up! WAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA if you don't get where i'm going with this then just forget it. i'm slightly lost myself. if you feel offended, then i sincerely apologize.

life is full of risks. don't be afraid to jump.

SO I'M JUMPING PEOPLE!

I'M JUMPING STRAIGHT INTO 2010 WITH A BANG!

HUAAAAAAAAHUAHAHAHUAH

what a way to start the year XD

of mama, babah and new year

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tonight is new year and i'm in quite a dilemma,
but after thinking it out i realized that the solution out is not that very hard really.

every time it's new year, it would mean, going out at 11.30 till 12 something.
enjoy the night with your friends.
watch some fireworks.
sounds harmless right?

for some reason i've never been out at night with my friends.
and most people would like to take the chance of new year to be go out at night.
and truth is, yeah I'd love to go out.
count down together and scream HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i mean everyone does it right?
so i'm finally old enough.
mama and babah can't stop me.
i should just go right?

but something inside me in some twisted way tells myself that i'm not going to enjoy the night.
i mean, yes i admit i scared of the night.
and i'm paranoid of social scenes.
going there would only make me feel uncomfortable and pretending to be something i'm not.

yeah so they tell me

'i'm really not cool'
'your such a baby'
'your too holy'

fine. i can just do it actually. but i guess being the youngest i've seen all 4 of my sisters come back late at night. with my mum and dad constantly waiting for them. then they get all frustrated.

come to think of it, I've spent all my life having new year with my parents.
i mean, all of you have of course.
and suddenly when your 17 or in your teens, you decide that it's more fun to have new year out with your friends than sit home with your parents watching TV.

i really do want to spend new year out.
but when i look back.
i don't know how many more new years i might have with mama and babah.
and all my other sisters are going out anyway.
so mama and babah will be home alone with mia and gael maybe.

new year night outs with friends can wait for a while.
i'll celebrate this one with mama and babah.
















































happy new year everyone.

of Selendang and Tuduung

sesungguhnya realiti itu tidak indah

ever since SPM ended, I've gone from the tudung to the selendang.
and so far, every time i go out, I've been wearing the selendang,
it's easy. no fuss. and it's really cheap.

not only that, it has also enhanced my creativity of mix matching and dressing as i have come up with a lot of different clothes that i can wear that suits the selendang.

i just got back from the market, and TADA!!

bought 3 new selendangs!

so now i'm thinking maybe i want to go full time on the selendang.
at least people won't always take me as a budak kecik.

suggestions?

and yes, i've noticed just how crappy my writing seems to be.
i guess this is what happens when you abandon writing for so long.






























first impressions are important right?

of driving lessons and change

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so today was the first day that i went for my Kursus KPP.
my driving teacher fetched me, and sent me off.
on the way we fetched another two people, and here is where it got interesting,
before the dude even got in the car, he looked into the window, and accidentally we were staring straight at each other.

*bells start ringing*

quickly looked away and he got into the car.
he seemed really friendly with the driving instructor as he sat in front.
i over heard bits of their conversation.
he is 19, great. so i decided to stop day dreaming.

through out the whole kursus i got so bored.
luckily i brought along my sketchbook.
without realising it, i had already sketched a picture of him.

so when everything ended, i met an ex school mate who recognized me.

'Wow, Azalia, you used to be so ganas in primary school, but you look so different now'

and that enlightened me. i guess i am different in lots of ways now.

none the less on the way back, i decided that life is full of risks. so we shouldnt be afraid to jump.
so what did i do?














i ripped off the skecth, and i gave it to him.

'don't take it personally, i was just bored'

with a smile i got into the car.


























it's weird i know

of Holmes and Watson

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We had a very nice outing yesterday.
five of us, and of course dear little Razzaq.

we watched Sherlock Holmes. had to take the front seat, none the less when your sitting with your best mates nothing else really does matter.

the movie was awesome, and i learnt alot about friendship through that movie [even if the whole theme of friendship wasn't highlighted]

looking at Holmes and Watson, and the very near end tragedy when i thought that Watson would be gone forever, i thought to myself, how the hell would i have felt if it was my best friends there being blown away by fire.

and as nara was screaming in my ear

'MATI! AYZIE, DIA DAH MATI! MATI!'

and Harris

'Eh, janganlah macam ni, okay tak?'

and Bey from the other end

'Ayzie! Your crying ke?'

and Irfan

'HAhahahahahahahahaha'

Razzaq didn't really notice i guess.

i felt a sure comfort that i knew where i belong.

























we'll fix our broken hearts ;]

of remedies and broken hearts

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so it's been 2 weeks since SPM is over.
the laptop is still busted,
unfortunately I'm unable to blog through my phone.

I've been out all over KL in the past 2 weeks.
making my way with the KTM, Monorail, LRT, Taxis, Buses, and every kind of public transport available.

and what have i discovered during my trips so far?

memories.

painful. sweet. weird, funny. and everything else.

i stare out of the window with the soundtrack playing in my ear. and the flashbacks occur so frequently. they make me remember. and when i remember, I'm tearing up the stitches that i had try so hard to make. i laugh it off anyway. because everything happens for a reason.

i think about the five of us. and all that we've been through.
similarly, they're all the same. with minor differences.
and you guys probably don't understand where I'm going with this.

broken hearts take time to heal.
some may take a short while.
some may take some time.
some may even take forever.

but I'm sure with the right remedies, it can be fixed soon enough.







































i'm just rambling.