fingernails

sesungguhnya realiti itu tidak indah

usually when we meet a person, there are certain things that we we will observe.
some people like to look at the aquaintance' hair.
or perhaps maybe their shoes.
some may prefer the eyes.
or even the lips.
the person's smile, or laugh and it can go on.

so here, i'd like to to say that i, on the other hand like to look at a person's fingernails.
if some of you think it's weird, then it's alright.
if other have the same interest as me then high 5!
haha.

well, why nails?
because i think that is somwhere people tend to overlook.
i can tell abit when i look at a persons fingernails.
they may dress from top to toe and look smoking hot, but then suddenly you take a glimpse at their nails and it's long and dirty.
it will definitely make you think twice about the person.

or some people may look totally horrible yet have the most perfect looking manicured nails
(i've experienced this before)
and it will also make you think twice of that person.

sure i know that sometimes it doesn't apply to all people.
some people can have beautiful polished painted nails and be rotten too.

but it's just my opinion. and it's a habit for me to always take a glimpse.

and after i've seen the nails, i'll look for the eyes.

why the eyes?

this, i have no idea.
wakakakakakakaka.
























that person has perfect manicured looking nails :)

cry

sesungguhnya realiti itu tidak indah

is it over yet?

can i open my eyes

is this as hard as it gets.

is this what it feels like to really cry

i'm sick of all this bull..
please stop.
i'm tired












:'[

BTL

sesungguhnya realiti itu tidak indah

okay no, i'm not talking about the sandwich.
it's the short form of the courses that i think would suit me best.

so we went to IPTA fair.
and the night before i was constantly being scolded for my mistake of not applying for matrix.
and now after returning from the fair i realize how that fault has closed my chances of ever going to UM.

GREAT.
hahahahaha. but it's my fault.
so just take it in.
and let's look at my other options.

JPA scholars : only applied for social science. no English. great
KPM scholars: currently for Guru Cemerlang it's FROZEN. HAHAHA. another great.

so for now the scholarships are also not looking up.

BEN
the original the original thing that i really want to do. unfortunately there's only one place offering the foundation. whoopee. so it should be my first choice aight, but i don't know why my heart keeps telling me to think over and over and over and over again. if it's really what i want to do. but then i remember mama telling me that

the road to success always begins somewhere, even if it means at the very bottom

so maybe i'll have to be tough and face the fact that if it is really what i want to do, then screw the environmental factors and do my best. be strong. i can do it. i can do it.

TESL

this is maybe something most closely related to what i wanted to do. difference is i'm learning how to teach people. foundation offers also just one place. i've thought that this is a good thing too but babah keeps telling me how so many people taking this is unemployed. and it's everyone's last resort. but it's not my last resort! it's one of my first choices. if its something i like, and i know i can excel in, i'm not just going to be some unemployed person right? again. starting at the bottom.

LAW

well babah said that this is what i should turn to rather than TESL. more choices blabla. but okay i know about my passion for debate and everything, but really i know i won't have the chance to be a geek at it. i mean sure i can do it, but i'll just come out average i think. and babah said himself that most lawyers dnt end up with a job pn, (don't take it personally lawyers) only the awesome ones do. so i don't think i can be that awesome at law. unless i wrok damn hard again. starting at the bottom.

i never knew it was going to be this hard.

suggestions?

wwwwwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaargrrrgggghhhhhhhhhhhh

the RETURN

sesungguhnya realiti itu tidak indah

i've had a lot to think about during the trip.
and i enjoyed myself alot.
but i was quite glad to come home as i was kinda getting bored with the
'you look like a terrorist' look given by some people.

all in all.
coming back to malaysia means one thing.

getting REALLY BUSY.

pictures are in facebook.





























driving,book,date,debate,schoalrships,applications,results....

ohh Russia!

sesungguhnya realiti itu tidak indah

and yes i shall be leaving at 2.40 am on the 25th of January 2010.
it shall be an enthralling journey as it will be the first time that i travel alone.

it shall be the journey of the soul
it shall be the greatest experience
it shall be the most wonderful thing ever
it shall be a turning point

it shall be...............just another trip to a cold country.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

adios machas!























i promised everyone snowXD

Run Ayzie, RUN!

sesungguhnya realiti itu tidak indah


yet another inspirational movie to learn from.

Run fatboy run.

I don't know why i am extremely attracted to this movie, so if you guys haven't watched it at HBO, i'll just give you a brief synopsis. (if you have then just skip to the lessons XD)



So there's this dude, he lands a pretty hot chick and she's already pregnant with their first child and soon enough they're going to get married. Seems like a fairytale when suddenly the guy gets cold feet and ditches the pregnant fiancee on their wedding day. 5 years later they move on with their lives and the dude is living a horrible life as a security guard with no secure income or even house to live in. Though he knows that everything in his life is falling apart, he knows that he really is actually still inlove with that girl he left. So the story goes on and he realises a quick fix to get money is to run for some marathon. But then *jengjengjeng* he meets the girl again, now his son is already about 8 and she is getting married to this succesfull guy, rich and everything. Then the marathon blablabla he finishes the race and the girl realises what a jerk the succesfull guy is. and the story finishes with the dude asking the girl out again for dinner.



so where's the inspiration you might ask.



Firstly is when the guy comes for her birthday and he explains reasons why he did leave her at the altar. He knew that he couldnt give her a good life therefore he thought it would be better that day. i quote

'I rather spoil your day than ruin your life'

Sure if you were in the girls' shoes during the wedding day. You would just totally hate the guy and think he is some troublesome bloke that played with your feelings. Yet when you go 5 years in advance, that kind of explanation does make sense. and it goes in line with the saying 'if you love something, let it go'

sure enough it hurts, not only for you but also for that person. But you need to be cruel to be kind. You would'nt want the person you love to end up screwing up with you too and making them unhappy.

sure it takes time, and for that moment, i bet when that girl was staanding at the altar, or maybe to relate to everyone else let's just take other examples.

Maybe when someone said that they would be there but never turned up.

Maybe when you did nothing wrong yet that person just changes their mind.

Maybe it was the day you caught him or her with someone else.

Maybe when they just broke alot of promises.

At that moment you just feel like a total joke. thinking 'why the hell did i ever think that he or she would ever care'

Well he or she could be the nice guy like the one in the movie, or they could be someone evil too. But either way, no matter how hard it is. There's a reason for it to happen. so be long sighted. Patience is virtue.

and secondly what i've learnt from this movie is the amount of determintaion it takes. Sure to some people it might just be a marathon. But for this guy, it's the run of his life. the one that can just change and turn his life around. It made me thought too. Wow. Something simple like a marathon can change your life. You don't need a whole lot of uneccesarry things. Just a few minor changes. and this made me smile. change can be achieved. But YOU have to be the one who wants it. Don't give to much excuses on why everyone is standing in your way. Just do it.

so now that i'm feeling light hearted and enlightened. It's time for my few changes. it's time for me to run.

and here's another quote, but it's from P.S I Love You

'if everyone in this world is alone, then we're in that together too'

so don't feel alone. we always have eachother. even if we are strangers.

Run AYZIE! RUN!

Music Connects [Press Play]

sesungguhnya realiti itu tidak indah

Okay, so Beybey has restarted playing the guitar, and so i have also restarted playing the PIANO! HUAHUAHUAHUAHUA YES! YES! This will be brilliant! We can make a band! and Nara can be the vocalist. A new kind of music genre.

I realised how much playing the piano gives me alot of tune and hapiness. a way to express my feelings. haha just like Hilimi is Konserto Terakhir. I'm not that good at it, but HEY! at least i'm trying. A few songs that i have succeeded in playing are:

1. Vanilla Twilight
2. Boston
3. The Show
4. Yellow

[beybey, nanti tell me what songs you can play too]

and currently trying to learn Bad Day. Unfortunately i only got till the starting part, then macam susah sangat.

Singing while you play is fun too! It's a pity they don't have malay songs tutorial in YouTube. that's how i've been learning anyway. I would really like to try playing Yuna songs on the piano, but can't seem to find the tabs. aiiihhhh

My Russia trip is coming soon. Can't wait! huahauhauhauahau

what shall we name the band i wonder?
hurrmmmm























when all else fails just let the music take you away