Between Sleep and Progress

sesungguhnya realiti itu tidak indah;

When I was in high school there was a rumour that went around that I slept at 12.30 so boys who were interested needed to call me before that. Not sure how true it was, but that's what my friends told me. It was the most accurate depiction of me at the time.

 Azalia: The Girl Who Loved to Sleep.

And I completely agree. Nothing could get between me, and my most prized relationship at the time, my bed.

Even through university years, I was never one to sacrifice my sleep for anything. This includes assignments, playing games, watching TV (except for special occasions, then yeah maybe). Once the clock strikes 12, you can bet that I am already snuggled up deep under the covers, just waiting to doze off into the night. 

It's because of my die hard love for sleep that I quit the only stable part-time job I ever landed in Japan. It required me to be up from 8.00 pm all the way to 4 or even 6 in the morning. I lasted for only a month, but at least I lost 10kgs in the process. 

Fast forward to today: Here I am. It's 10 minutes to 12.00 midnight. I stare at the computer screen, then shift my gaze to my husband all bundled up in bed already. 

"Just call it a day. You can continue tomorrow. 

You've done enough."

That's true. I meet my deadlines, I submit my papers. I can comfortably tell myself that I have done enough and spend the rest of the night scrolling through the internet and watch some videos while I wait to fall asleep. Yes, sleep. The thing I love to do so much.

Yet just before I can get myself to press that save icon and shut down the laptop, I realize that perhaps doing enough, might actually not be enough. Especially when it comes to meaningful work. Because when you think about it;

People don't make great discoveries by just doing enough.

People don't make progress by just doing enough.

People don't achieve success by just doing enough.

and people most definitely don't make significant contributions to their field by just doing enough.

Its easy to get complacent and comfortable in academia. Some people just want the title. Some people just want a job. Some people just don't know what to do. So as long as you do what is asked for you, meet the requirements, do just enough, there's nothing to worry about. But if you really want to make a difference in the world, then enough is not just going to cut it. It's going to take more than that, and doing more than what is expected of us. 

“Mediocrity will never do. You are capable of something better.”

― Gordon B. Hinckley

I walk slowly towards the bed and pinch my husband's cheeks. He gives me a surprised look when I tell him I'll be staying up a while. 

"PhD is 10% intelligence and 90% persistence"

-Hugh Kearns

I bring myself to the kitchen and make myself a cup of hot chamomile tea then return to the computer screen. Yes, I was once known as the girl who loved to sleep, but moving forward I really hope I can be known for something more. 

Don't we all?