The Fourth Year

sesungguhnya realiti itu tidak indah;

It is the fourth year of celebrating Ramadhan abroad, in a small island where my religion is unknown to many.

It is the fourth year of sahur at 2.30 and buka  at 7.30.

It is the fourth year of explaining to my friends that I won't die by fasting.

It is the fourth year of cooking my own bazaar recipes.

It is the fourth year of pressing the azan button on my phone when Maghrib has come.

It is the fourth year of terawih by myself within these four walls.

It is the fourth year of buying Pocky sticks and saving them for moreh later.

It is the fourth year that I'm unable to follow mama and babah to the mosque.

It is the fourth year I'm unable to run to the moreh spread and eat kuey teow.

It is the fourth year of realizing how much of all the other ramadhans that I have taken for granted when I had the chance to be with the people I loved the most, and how this month teaches us to be thankful and content with everything He has blessed us with.

it is the fourth year.

and I hope it will be the final year.

Photo from Muslim Learning Garden